I worry, I want, I will.
A new story by Danielle Bell.
Hi, I’m William Sebastian Pendleton-Wells.
I WORRY that my name is too long.
I really WANT a shorter name.
I WILL call myself Bob.
I’m in fourth grade and love my school. My favorite subject is Science, but I do best in Art. I’d like to be good at everything but I have so much trouble with math.
I WORRY that my math grade is low.
I WANT to be better.
I WILL work harder and raise my hand more often instead of drawing pictures when my teacher is showing us how to do math.
I live with my younger brother Cornelius, baby sister Matilda, Mom and Dad, and Nana Wells, I like to call her Nana Wishy cause she spins her dreams into big long stories.
I WORRY lately that Nana Wishy isn’t well enough to keep telling me her stories.
I WANT her know how much she inspires me and want to share my dreams with her too.
I WILL share with her some stories of my own.
My big, big brother is off far- far away in a place called Afghanistan.
I WORRY that he’s missing us. He hasn’t even met his baby sister yet.
I WANT him to know we are thinking about him and that we miss him too.
I WILL write him a letter, and tell him all about the funny things that Matilda is doing, and tell him that Cornelius and I can play catch together now without having to chase the ball every time we throw it, and how Mom and Dad still kiss each other in the kitchen. I will even draw him a picture of our family so he can see how much taller I am now.
My mom works real hard at being a mom. She also works real hard answering phones and helping people do their jobs better. Yesterday my mom came home with a really small bag of groceries for our whole family. She said that times are tight and my favorite double chunk chocolate cookies aren’t going to be on the shopping list for a while. She told me that she can get a whole bag of apples for less than that little package of cookies.
I WORRY that our shopping list is getting shorter and what else we will have to do without.
I WANT to be able to help my mom by being more understanding.
I WILL learn to really appreciate apples more.
Today my dad let me know that I had to walk home from school because he had to work over-time to earn some extra money to pay the bills.
I WORRY that I won’t get to see my dad as much if he works too much.
I WANT to be able to still spend time with him.
I WILL make sure all of my chores are done before he gets home and instead of playing video games, I’ll go talk and play with my dad.
My baby sister has been crying a lot. My mom says she might need special medicine to help her be more comfortable. My mom says it’s going to be expensive going to the Dr. because we don’t have insurance for things like this.
I WORRY about getting sick.
I WANT to make sure I don’t.
I WILL wash my hands and try to get a good night’s sleep so I can stay healthy.
I love to draw, and especially like my Art teacher Mr. Fine. He lets me stay after and finish my pictures because I like to add lots of extra details. He says that I have a talent and I am good enough to be accepted into the advanced Art Camp this summer.
I WORRY about the cost, and that my parents won’t be able to afford for me to go.
I WANT them to know how important this it to me, and want to be able to earn my own money to pay for it myself.
I WILL ask my parents to let me do extra chores around the house, and ask if I can knock on our neighbors doors to see if there is any work I can do like rake leaves, walk dogs, pick-up trash, and even wash their cars to earn my way.
There are a lot of things I worry about, and there are just as many things that I want.
My dad tells me not to worry so much about things that are out of my control; like earthquakes, the weather, and the way my hair sticks up on my head.
The only thing he tells me to worry about is when my mother calls me by my full given name, “that’s a whole other kind of worry.”
But my mom tells me that there are worries in life, and that it’s all part of growing up.
She tells me she likes that quality in me. She says “if we aren’t worried then we aren’t paying attention.”
She also tells me that she is proud of me that I am willing to do something about it.
Nana Wishy says, “we all have concerns and cares that sometimes cause us to be scared or angry.”
She says “you can worry yourself to the grave,” and the thought scares me. But I know what she means. She is trying to tell me that we can have worries and wants, but the will to do something about it is what makes us feel alive.
I look forward to growing older and being as wise as Nana Wishy.
I WORRY though, what’s the world gonna be like when I’m that old?
I WANT to know what more I can do to live in a peaceful world.
Hmmmm. I WILL have to think about this one for a while.
Dani Bell, March 10, 2012